The reason for the time-out: breast cancer in 2005! Instead of defining a goal, I tried to sense in which direction it would go if I really listened to my needs and inclinations. It was an experiment to get to know my possibilites and limitations ... it was about inner processes, immaterial of 'soft' themes and it started to point towards a project with a woman. I'm so grateful for that time on my own, that I was able to take it and that my husband made it possible. We made an all important step in our marriage: out of symbiosis into real partnership. In march 2005 I had a harmless looking lump removed from my right breast. Since it was diagnosed cancer, they had to cut more and also operated on the nodes. I had radiation and anti-hormone; I injected the antroposophical homoeopathic Iscador (mistle). In january 2006 I had another lump removed from my left breast. I had noticed it 9 months earlier - still in the hospital bed for the first breast. 5 doctors confirmed one after the other over the course of those 9 months that I didn't need to worry about this lump, this one was definitely only a cyst! Unfortunately number two was also cancerous, a different type of tumor though. No further treatment was envisaged since the first one was still 'in action'.
I still had full life quality until the end of 2007; a palliative chemo did not make sense because it would only have guaranteed me that the remaining energy would be gone. Metastasis cannot be cured and the mild chemo I tried had absolutely no effect on the growth of the liver tumors. 2008 the illness phase has begun...
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A good year later, Easter 2007, I started to suffer from sciatic
pain. I returned to Bern to have the supposed disc hernia treated - but it
turned out to be metastasis in the bones.
The uppermost sacrum vertebra was affected and the pain was relieved with
radiation. In August they also discovered that my liver was also full of
metastasis. Over a dozen clusters spread over both sides of the liver. 
